I was hungry this morning so I stopped by a bagel shop to pick up a delicious breakfast sandwich. It was quite good, actually: an asiago cheese bagel with sausage and cheddar. Mmm, Mmm, Mmm. But that isn’t the point. When I grabbed the included napkin it had this printed on it:

“Thank you from your friends at [Bagel shop name].”

I don’t know a single person at that place. I don’t think I even know anyone who works for the company. The girl who took my order looked kind of familiar, but she was Anglo-Saxon and most everyone I know is Anglo-Saxon. I know without a doubt that noone in the restaurant, employee or not, is a friend of mine. Don’t get me wrong, she was friendly as was I, but that doesn’t make us friends.

Maybe the napkin should say something like, “Thank you, we hope you enjoyed your bagel.” Or maybe, “Thanks, we’re glad you came.” Or maybe, “Thanks, we’re one bagel closer to that new corporate jet.”

I guess that stuff just feels so disingenuous to me. I’m sure they’re glad I came, and I’m glad too. The experience was a win-win. When I work with clients I ideally hope that we will become friends. That is the best outcome possible. But lets be honest, I’m probably not your friend.